The Burger King

          Hundreds of years ago, great kings and queens ruled the world.  Their mighty empires controlled and conquered vast lands and their people obeyed their every command.  These mighty monarchs may be long gone, but one “great” one still remains: The Burger King.  The Burger King is the miraculously rare kind of king, for he is magnificently benevolent and magnanimous.  He wants his people, he begs his people, to have it their way.  For his mighty decree is, and shall always be: “Have it your way.”  And let us say Amen.

            The Burger King, like most kings has his very own coat of arms, or, as the cool, modern kids call it, a logo.  To most people the logo is just two buns and the mighty Burger King’s name written in between.  But, to a sharp, keen eye this logo is far more complicated and intricate.  But, what else would one expect from The Burger King?  The buns are a shiny gold, the sign of wealth, riches and success. People strive for gold.  They want that golden sticker, that golden A+, or even that golden gold.  But with The Burger King, and his food, they can taste the richness for a far cheaper price.  And thus they are drawn to him and his delicacies.  They become necessities.   They want the golden standard of The Burger King; they need the golden standard of The Burger King.   But something else also is symbolized in The Burger King’s logo: power.  The Burger King’s name is written in red, the color of power and rubies, another precious item.  With the gold, red, and the impressiveness of the signs all over modern day highways advertising the mighty monarch, how can people resist the King’s richness?  Better yet, why would they want to resist?  There are all the rich flavors and all the rich feelings, all for a cheap price.  That is what the Burger King strives for, for the Burger King wants you to “have it your way.”

            But, is The Burger King really as great and mighty as he seems?  Does he really want you to “have it your way?”  Conspiracy theories have been circulating, theories that put The Burger King in a disastrous position.  The theorists believe that the your in the mighty King’s decree actually stands for “why our.”  It makes sense.  Why our way?  Our way because if you cross us you are committing treason.  You are going against the King and his people.  If you go over to monstrous McDonald or wicked Wendy you are going against The Burger King.  You are disobeying the highest in command’s orders.  You my friend are committing treason.  But, the question is, is this a fair law or a deceptive trick enforced by The Burger King to ensure his people’s business and loyalty.  If it’s the latter, the mighty Burger King may not be so mighty.

      - J. A. Kind